Daytime sky colour
So no sooner (almost) as I get here, dad and Wendy take the opportunity to disappear for the day (and night) leaving me in charge of the horse, the mule, the dog, cat, house and (tomorrow) a builder I'll only be able to moan at in English or German. I wonder if he understands either. Pinto, the dog, is very fussy now they've gone and really didn't want me to leave him to come to the village (on my 3rd coffee now). He spent all day with me down at the pool.
What I did today
Where the peace was destroyed by the sound of a rig drilling for water all day (well, 11 til 2 seems to constitute a working day here).
Drilling for water
Had to clear the pool first so Sarah, if you read this, this is for you- look who I found down there )
Spider by the pool
I had a couple of swims and was laying in the sun (33 degrees today (91)) until I got shouted at (well, brayed, at least) by the mule to bring their tea- she was even polite enough to give me 15 minutes warning
Rachel, still no horse pictures but here's the stable, snapped from the pool.
And now a bit you can skip if you don't like sentimental ramblings, but looking at the stars does make you think a bit, so last night I wrote this:-
Time for a bit of reflection, after all, that's one of the reasons for being here. One of the things I find most difficult is not having a sense of control, at least of the basic bits of my life. I know in theory and through discussion that I wouldn’t want to be ‘totally secure’ in my life- that leaves no room for adventure. As I see it, there are only two ways to achieve total security; to lead a very boring, planned life or to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth. I never wanted the kind of job that gets stereotyped in the UK as secure. To be an accountant, a stockbroker or a dentist, although I’m sure I’m deriding those professions unnecessarily. And being born with everything makes you bored so you do stupid things to generate some excitement.
When I was younger I decided that a ‘consider the trees in the fields’ type approach was best- if I couldn’t add an inch to my height by worrying, then what was the point. Between the time I left home at seventeen and the time I was twenty-three I’d had twenty three jobs, lived in five towns in two countries and taken almost every summer off to enjoy myself. The longest I’d held a job was fifteen months (a tie between marine electronics engineer and media sales)and the most jobs I’d had concurrently was three (roofer, general building work and barman) So how did I end up becoming a teacher- training for four years and working for another sixteen years in four schools and a young offenders institute? Becoming a super-planner, semi control-freak and super-stresshead?
Nowadays I find it hard not to worry and the only piece of advice I can give is probably a cliché; don’t look at the big picture, just at the piece of the puzzle you’ve got in front of you right now. In the past I thought I knew what the jigsaw of my life should look like and I spent far too much time figuratively hammering the pieces in to make them fit. This of course resulted in a confusing picture with rough edges and, although the picture was mostly right, it was not a very impressive result.
Over the last five years the picture has been a lot more pleasing, if less predictable. The reason for this is that I spent more time focussing on the events and relationships in my life, less to the ‘things’, and smoothing the edges of the pieces before trying to fit hem in place. Taking more account of how to fit with the people and things that are important to me and not worrying too much about the ones that just don’t fit.
So, if it is a cliché I’m sorry, but however counter-intuitive it seems to me right now I just have to go back to the philosophy I set out for myself twenty-something years ago and focus on the piece I’m dealing with right now, then it will become more detailed and full, and less on the ‘grand scheme of things’. My upbringing involved a lot of religion, before I cut it out completely after seeing the way people hid behind it and still behaved outrageously to each other (and to me). But although I never thought things were down to destiny and I know the simplistic view of Karma in your life is plain nonsense, I have never assumed I have any control over my lifespan and therefore I don’t control how many pieces my puzzle will have or how big the picture will be, so the quality of the individual pieces and the way they fit together has got to be the focus I guess.
Ok, that’s the rant over for now, tomorrow I’ll photograph everything I see